i just remembered that i have ice cream, so it’s time for some of that now.

I wish I could eat but Maya just keeps coming up and making me cry more. 

ME TOO, OKAY? I’M SITTING HERE YELLING BECAUSE KRISTEN AND MAYA

OH MY GOD. SRSLY. Seeing them together is what did me in.

• JUDY GREER! I love you. And your dress. Tis HAWT.
• Melissa McCarthy, listen baby cakes, think again the next time you are nominated. 
• Jessica Chastain - you’re charming, your dress is fabulous and your hair. YOUR HAIR! GIRL.
• Michelle Williams - We got trouble. Right here in River City. 
• George Clooney - JUST FUCK me right now.
• Berenice Bejo - I love you all the time. No matter what your dress looks like.
• MAYA RUDOLPH! You are looking adorable. 
• HOT DAMN! VIOLA DAVIS! THE BOTTOM OF YOUR DRESS! KUDOS VERA WANG! KUDOS TO YOU! 
• Rooney Mara!!!!! My love for you never ceases. 
• Glenn Close, you are looking better than the last time I saw you. 
• Is George kissing this Spaniard? 
• Michelle Williams - Bad News Bears. 
• JUDD APATOW!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!! AND YOUR WIFE.
• All we’re getting is P. Diddy’s back? BUT WHY?
• Alright P. Diddy, we get it. You’ve got lint on your back. Can we move on?
• To quote Leah: “[in reference to Rooney Mara] She is going to win ALL sorts of informal awards.” 
• Rooney Mara would pick a perfect dress the DAY OF the Awards Show. 
• The girl reminds me a bit of Zooey Deschanel, without the sister and divorce.
• P. Diddy - Bro, what the FUCK BALLS is up with your posse? 
• KENNETH BRANAGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KENNETH!!!!! KENNETH!!!!!!!!! KENNETH!!!!!! 
• Octavia Spencer - You have been well dressed for every show and for that, my bitch, I applaud you.
• I revise what I said about Glenn. You seem to be rocking a sailboat look. 
• Rooney Mara - YOUR FAB ASS.
• They say dark colors are slimming Jonah Hill, but OH WAIT, YOU LOST A BUNCH OF FUCKING WEIGHT. I’m still bitter.
• Maya: “I try to keep my ladies happy”. YOU SUCCEED.
• JEAN DUJARDIN! There are some folks I just unconditionally love and YOU are one of them. 
• BUSY PHILLIPS! I’m digging your hair and your dress and your earring and your face. 
• Ryan Seacrest is probably pissed as shit right now. 
• Ryan: “Now you know this isn’t taped. Anything can happen and it certainly did…all over my lapel.”
• OH ANTONIO! My mom would be so happy to see you. 
• Tina Fey! Your dress! Your hair! YOU.
• J-Lo: You look like a trashy version of Tina. I still love you though.
• You got cleaned up so fucking fast, Ryan?
• Use a dick, Giuliana. 
• Emma, your bow. I don’t like you anyway but the bow is just making it worse. 
• What’s up Rose, Byrne your dress?